I’m listening to Damien Rice and uploading my pictures from last weekend’s Heifer trip. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more tiring and magical weekend.
and so it is just like you said it would be…
October 22, 2009 • 4:49 pm 0
the most beautiful place in the world
October 4, 2009 • 4:51 pm 0
i fell in love again, all things go
i fell in love again all things go all things go
i drove to chicago all things know all things know we sold our clothes to the state…
i don’t mind; i don’t mind i made a lot of mistakes in my mind
-chicago, sufjan stevens
—
The essay remains undone…
I’ve added a Useful Links page. Hurrah! It’s still really a work in progress. And the reason for my essay being undone? Gilt. I found my way there by way of the Clothes Horse and it is thoroughly addicting indeed. If you want to take a look…
September 6, 2009 • 9:17 pm 0
Eternity bores me; I never wanted it.
Oh my Lord.
I can not believe how early computer-deprivation forces me to sleep; I’ve been in bed by 11 every night this week, and once was asleep by 9:30. Blasphemous? I should have my computer back NEXT FRIDAY, which is indeed an eternity but I’ll get by somehow, and I suppose my calculus grade will benefit from my lack of internet.
I still can’t make a proper post, but I wanted to let you know that I was alive! I went into the city on Saturday to see Our Town and then had a cooking expedition with Aunt Gretchen and Cousin Jonathan.
On another note.
Do you find it absurd when people think they have a right to give advice without knowing everything? Perhaps not, but I do, and can not believe some of the things I have heard today, but less of that now; read below Sylvia Plath’s poem, ‘Years.’
Years
They enter as animals from the outer
Space of holly where spikes
Are not thoughts I turn on, like a Yogi,
But greenness, darkness so pure
They freeze and are.
O God, I am not like you
In your vacuous black,
Stars stuck all over, bright stupid confetti.
Eternity bores me,
I never wanted it.
What I love is
The piston in motion —-
My soul dies before it.
And the hooves of the horses,
There merciless churn.
And you, great Stasis —-
What is so great in that!
Is it a tiger this year, this roar at the door?
It is a Christus,
The awful
God-bit in him
Dying to fly and be done with it?
The blood berries are themselves, they are very still.
The hooves will not have it,
In blue distance the pistons hiss.
Filed under: Dreams
August 9, 2009 • 5:26 pm 0
—
forced vagueness
The sun porch glowed
from fireflies
and Christmas lights
we were alone
but for the lightning
it taught me something
our socks childishly wet as I slept there
In your spray painted shirt
my head in your lap
You played with my hair
And it soaked the pillow through with lake water
your summer home
we shook hands
on grey pavement
I held a song
like a toasted bread
that cooled too quick
I fought mosquitoes and my indignant tears
timid on a bed of rocks
eyes closed into your shadow
you whispered stories in my ear
Like stars or angels
words falling over me
you narrated the scene
your voice was softer than moonlight
it was Christmas all week in the afternoon glare
when you threw me into sparkling water
our shivering bodies close for warmth
and frigid in the midnight air
Filed under: Dreams
July 19, 2009 • 12:38 am 0
From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again, I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you- I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating… hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. -Anakin
• 5:44 pm 1
One of us will die inside these arms
—
spools at our feet
the pavement breaks up beneath me into sand and ocean
my shoes squelch with water, mud swimming
in puddles; i walk beneath the trees and tiny pools roll
at their fullest from green leaf beds to soak
me in bursts instead of the constant,
efficient shower outside the scope of foliage
a stretched polyester tarp diverts the rain
into sparkling rivers that fall like thread on a spindle
and the air is clear with the relief of release like
the evaporating thinness of ethyl alcohol
less dense than water and fleeting like
the summer sun on a rare december
—
WARNING : this is going to be long.
Today was SO eventful! Besides it being the last day of school, I completely aced my Russian Studies final (managing beforehand to squeeze an entire essay onto a 3×5 notecard). I also got a 98% on my expo college portfolio project of DEATH.
Now before I continue I need to voice how very much I’m going to miss Corinne. For those that don’t know, she’s moving to Ohio this summer and to anyone who doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a best friend, it’s like this empty pulling feeling that you’re not quite sure is there, except it is, all the time. I want to say we’ve been virtually inseparable since 7th grade, but that’s not entirely true – high school sort of let us drift apart and I wish that hadn’t happened.
Just a few things to think about – HPH, llamas, sox, fishmongers, cheese, floop, alice, charles dickface, chocolate hangover.
Jess made everyone CDs for the summer, and I can’t wait to listen to mine – once I have a working CD drive / player. By the way, Tumblr and Flickr and WeHeartIt are tons of fun.
Dan drove me and Alex into town after school and we went to CVS to get silver Sharpies, and then roamed over to the turnover shop so I could buy something I was kicking myself for not buying a couple days ago. This fabric.
Yeah, look at my hair – that’s a result of getting SOAKED and then drying off, and then getting soaked again. I really have no idea how I got so wet despite having an umbrella over my head constantly.
We saw Claire on our way out from Subway, so we stalked her a little bit and banged on the window from outside Subway to get her attention. Then we went to stop and shop, walked to Alex’s, and I put my clothes through the dryer, and we made clam chowder and watched Big Fish.
Henri the cat is SO CUTE. He licked clam chowder off my hand and it was brilliant.
—
Here’s my attempt at Pearl Jam’s Betterman. Please keep in mind I’ve only been playing guitar for like, a week and a half. Austin just completely showed up my attempt by posting a great recording on my wall. He’s also been harassing me because I have something for him and won’t tell him what it is. But between you and me, it’s a signed Derek Trucks CD.
—
—
She says, “wake up; it’s no use pretending.”
I’ll keep stealing, breathing her.
Birds are leaving over autumn’s ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes ’round the yard
She says, “If I leave before you, darling,
Don’t you waste me in the ground.”
I lay, smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes ’round the yard.
I have Iron and Wine’s Naked As We Came stuck in my head and perpetually on repeat.
—
sawyer grace
girl pulls her mother’s skirt,
full of vegetables and dirt
red hair, green eyes gleaming
asks her to play
mother’s busy, does it anyway
family picnic with the goats
June 11, 2009 • 8:38 pm 6
speak up